crestfallen

I feel a bit ashamed at staying away for so long. It seemed like the longer I stayed away, the harder it was to come back. We had a good if uneventful 4th followed by some good visits with family. One of the things that has kept me away was that our camera took a tumble and was broken. Devin and I are both klutzes, so it's probably amazing it's gone this long without an accident. The ridiculous part is that it fell from a height of three inches, when Devin was crouched in the driveway taking a picture. We were wanting to replace it anyway, but not exactly right now.

I had the opportunity to be considered for a really great job, that required, as part of the interview process to conceive and create a project. It was challenging and fun and I was really happy with the results. I was really invested and absorbed in the process beyond how hopeful I was for finally finding gainful employment. Now, it finally looks as though I didn't get it and I am just so disappointed. I have been looking for a job, any job, for so very long now. It's very frustrating.

I always had in the back of my mind that I always had the option of going back to school, which I would do in a second if money were no object. I decided to go ahead and do the financial aid forms. I guess if you have a degree and can't do anything with it, you are out of luck. There is no help for you. You had your chance.

I hate that this post seems so negative, but that is life sometimes. I'm trying to feel hopeful again, to find my balance, to have an eye for the future.

enough

I was reading a copy of the magazine Yoga + Joyful Living from the library and they had an excerpt from the book The Simple Home: The Luxury of Enough. It was in the sukha (good space) section. This weekend, which was divided between organizing, playing catch-up and reading, hanging out, I thought about it a lot. As pedestrian as it might sound I get that feeling of satisfaction when the last load of laundry is on the line, and particularly when I have a clean kitchen. Cleaning the kitchen is a task which I simultaneously hate doing and enjoy the results in equal amounts. I think that feeling of enough isn't just when things are done or organized. It's also the level headed satisfaction that comes with milk in the fridge and plenty of coffee and a new loaf of bread. I can't explain why it is, but it relieves my anxiety of life if I know that I can, at the bare minimum, have coffee and toast.


I've been listening to the new Feist a lot lately. I like it a lot. It feels very French to me, which I guess should come as no surprise since it was recorded in Paris.Last week on Coudal they had a link for photos of the Paris flood of 1910. They are really amazing photos. I've been on a bit of a Coudal kick lately. If you're not familiar with it, I'm not sure I can even begin to explain the site. Even they can't really define themselves. Their lack of focus means there's something for everyone, so you are bound to not leave disappointed. I'm particularly enthralled by their summer Swap Meat. Although I have to admit that the name "Swap Meat" makes me think of any number of disgusting things, in particular people mailing smelly meat packages to one another. It makes the vegetarian in me shudder. It's worth getting past the name though, I promise.